Friday, August 18, 2017

Bebel

Ok semalam my long time best peren aka orang kampung datang JB so harus dan wajiblah iolls paksa dia jumpa walaupun dia tak berapa nak redha..hahaha..

Lepas balik dinner selak lah FB lelama...fuhyooo dalam diam dekat 5 tahun ek kenal..dari dia tak kerja sampai dah kerja pastu benti keje..dari selekeh sampai dah pandai pkai baju kemeja acah acah smart..

Well dear fren aka brother since his so young then me..i wish u all the best dalam hidup ni. Am a very proud fren seeing u fall tapi u raised and get back on track again. Tapi dari dulu sampai sekarang kalau tang buat resume ke proposal ke ni lah mamat paling hentam ikut dannn jer..hahaha...

He is so good in cooking. Ada one time tu masa raya haji..mak n sis raya kat Paris, bro raya di Singapore..sil raya kat China..jadi me raya alone with bibik kat rumah..makanya memang confirm tak masak papelah...terus mintak simpati sebekas nasi minyak pada mamat ni hahahaha...

Mak pun selalu order food that he cook. She just loves the way he cook. Ni kesukaan mak ni...hahaha...mak cakap muka dia muka selamba kodok..hahahahaha..

Kalau am back kat Muar nilah mangsa pertama i akan paksa keluar ngeteh..hihihi..mak memang takkan marah if am out with him..sampai kul berapa pun takde hal..tulah dalam banyak banyak orang memang mom strust him the most..

Well as i said tadi am super proud with what he achieved now sebenarnya..walaupun tak lah powerrr mana pun but to watch u grow from a boy to a man..really makes me super proud..gosh sangat mak mak statement hahaha...

Apapun i doa yang baik baik for your business nanti eh...

yang pasti i nak free sentiasa hahahah

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Move on

Moving on? Cubalah..try it yourself if you can and if you think its easy..Took me longer..tapi i still laugh smile macam takde benda.Dalam ni biarlah dia rawat sendiri. Dont text me and asked me rindu ke tidak..hey its not that easy yer!

Ada masa macam tetiba dapat idea nak cakap kat semua hey u all i nak quit kerja and am gonna be out of errr i dont know where and i just dont wanna think of anything...bole?

Masa ke Perhentian the other day meet with this young and sgt kind hearted man dari Argentina. Asked him whats his plan ...opps i think ill be in Australia for few months work then ill be back and be on holiday again..senangnya hidup kan..and he is so freaking happy guy tau..i wished am like him...hahaha


Saturday, August 5, 2017

The sea..the view..the waves

Yes last week baru balik dari Perhentian..yang ke 4 or 3 been there..i was lucky sebab Black was there and always keep me safe whenever am there..thanks to him.

It was a last minute decision..booked everything somewhere before raya haritu..sebab hmmm...yeah nak release stress sekejap looking over the view of the seas...the waves..the salty smell of the sands..

I was so happy there. And surrounded by good people at heart. I really wanted to cry out loud masa kat sana..to burst everything..but never a minute Black allowed me to do so. He always there accompany me..making me laugh..making sure i had my meals..checking on me at all time.

Honestly i missed him badly. But decision been made and i cant turn it around. He has his own life now and i bet he must be happy with it. Dari dulu lagi ive made myself a promise..its ok if am the one who gonna get hurt sebab theres only me alone..if its vice versa..akan ada banyak hati yang akan sangat sangat terluka.

I have kept his kain safe in the cupboard..i did not put it next to me anymore..takpe sampai bebila it will always be with me..

Masa having dinner kat chalet cafe..looking at the view of the ocean tgk matahari terbenam..i wished hes there with me..then started airmata bertakung..haish!! macamanalah nak move on ni kan...hahahaha..

So next day kat Perhentian had a snorkeling trip with black and group of Argentina tourist..it was superb fun...they were singing atas boat..hahahaha..and semua sangat sangat frendly..Black selalu paksa i snorkeling..hahahaha sorry boh tak mau! Tapi janji will snorkeling with him masa kat last pit stop...the coral sangat cantik..and yes jumpa ikan pari masa snorkeling aritu...cuteeeee sangat!!
I'll definitely akan return there again and again...

How i wished you are there with me...swimming looking at the superb view..yeah we promised we planned tapi tak pernah dapat kan..and since its over now..tak mungkin dapat lah sampai bebila..hahaha...but well i always kept those angan angan..tak salah rite?

I still remember the last time we really spent time together kat Kuala Terengganu n Kelantan dulu..itupun kena menyamar..yeah masa balik tu hati siapalah tak sakit kan...all the way till Ipoh looking outside and airmata meleleh jer..grrrrr... but that was the last time me and arwah Cik Mat jumpa..i missed him too.. he used to tell me "He always happy when hes with you" .. yupe i always remember that...and sebab tak nak dia pening biarlah dia happy now with his life...hahaha...

Anyway ..masa kat KT the best moment bila dapat teman u mancing ikan..hahahaha...walaupun bosan nak mati..but being with you always makes me smile..tgk muka kerut kerut tahan panas..pastu tangan tu dok betulkan rambut pastu muka buat acah acah macam juara memancing..hahaha...i missed that..pastu i jadik tukang belikan umpan...berialah cakap kalau nampak air bla bla bla situ banyak ikan...hmmm ikan tecikkk jer dapat hahahaha...then you taught me mcmana nak lempar rod tu..hahaha...dont u remember that?

Apapun..memories always remain in me...never once i delete it..the first day we meet pun i still remember..but life got to on..i hold on to those memories..above all that i always love and missed you Chik..

Monday, July 24, 2017

Me....


Rindu pulak nak rambut macam ni..gosh lately bz kelaut sangat..i dont care bout my hair i eat what i want..well senang cerita i dont care at all bout myself..

This weekend nak spent time di Pulau Perhentian again...maybe balik tu need to chop chop my hair and betulkan the roots, taking care of my skin and my eating regime lah...seriously macam kak limah!

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Assalamualaikum...

Kita hidup didunia ni dah banyak kita tersasar...terlalu jauh..bangun dan jatuh hidup kita atas tindakan kita sendiri samaada kita sedar atau tidak..

Sayang..its been 3 years now..selamat hari jadi yang ke 38..the first and finally i manage my time to be with you tho its a day early.Dalam sepanjang masa saat itu i appreciate every moment..trust me. Your likes your dislikes..semua dah set dalam kepala ni.

Sayang..i cant be sure if there always be another birthday that am gonna celebrate it with you. Kita tak tahu langkah kita akan berhenti sampai dimana..kita takkan tahu hati kita dapat bertahan sampai bila. If you ask me..yes i cant predict whats gonna happen in the future..but if you ask my heart..yes you always be in me..always,,

Someone told me and he told me these over and over again..kita bukan milik kita..apa yang kita ada bukan milik kita..hati kita nyawa kita harta kita..bukan milik kita..kita tak pernah punya apa apa..kita cuma perlu bersiap sedia melepaskan semua tu tanpa ada rasa kecewa sakit marah..am learning to absord it..benar kan sayang..it will never ever be milik kita apa pun jua..

Sayang..am writting this on your birthday..the first ever day am able to celebrate it with you..with a slice of cake asking you untuk tiup..we had so much fun semalam..till you need to excuse yourself..sayang percayalah am all ready untuk lepaskan apa yang bukan milik i..

Even i need to cry out loud..even it does hurt me badly..but yes am ready..am all ready...

Semalam you ada cakap.. " dalam hidup kita tak selamanya kita akan genbirakan? Ada masa ada shj masalah yang datang..ada masa kita rasa lonely..kita rasa sunyi"

Dulu ramai pesan dont love someone so badly cause i will get hurt badly nanti..i blame myself untuk itu..

Tapi i redha lepaskan apa jua perasaan ni..

I want you to be with your family tanpa ada sikit pun perasaan ragu..adakalanya lukakan perasaan sendiri itu perlu untuk kebaikkan semua orang. Bertahun kita sakitkan hati mereka..bertahun kita ikutkan perasaan sampai kita tak sedar banyak hati yang kita sakitkan..bertahun rahsia ini kita simpan..jadi rasanya dah tiba kita jangan sakitkan lagi hati mereka..terutama yang sentiasa setia sebelah u..

Sayang..jangan risau..u always and will always have a special place in me..i cant delete the memories between u and me,,

I still remember our first hola...the days when u sent me to work..ur first meal from me that chilli crab and butter crab..i still remember when u said " i selalu lalu depan umah tengok rumah u penuh kain kat depan" then later bila am moving out from Ipoh i told you " lepas ni u lalu depan umah i u takkan nampak lagi kain depan rumah"..ingat masa mula jumpa..ingat perasaan mula nampak u.. ingat masa u tgk i make up..ingat masa we spent our nights jalan..our ayam goreng kat Batu Gajah..ingat bila payahnya nak paksa u makan ubat..ingat bila u betulkan rambut..jgn risau sayang..masih terbayang u  cakap " rindu kening u..rindu bibir u..rindu mata u...rindu hidung u"...and yes latest was yesterday..u pegang muka i and buat that faceapps application...syg i promised u that i cherished every second am with you..

Sayang..kita tak pernah nampak jalan kita kan..kita tak pernah tahu bila ia akan berhenti kan..benar semua itu rahsia Allah..

This is not a goodbye syg..it never will be a goodbye..it cant never be..sebab i always want u to know am always be there for you..macamana nak say goodbye bila tiap kali nak balik i will always asked the driver to take one round to your house..

7 tahun dulu..a wife found out bout her man cheated on her..selama tulah dia rasa terasa sangat sangat terluka..airmata dia tak pernah berhenti sebab rasa tu sangat sangat sakit..and i dont want anyone to feel what i've been thru..and i tak nak jadi the bad women..

We can always and always be friend..apa yang akan jadi lepas ni biarlah ianya rahsia Allah..we still can live with memories..we keep the good ones..well we never had the bad ones in fact..remember that  i sayang sangat dengan u..i akan tetap rindu u..rindu mata u..rindu cabut uban u..rindu dengar kentut u..rindu tgk u..rindu bau ketiak u..u can always call me text me..

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Excited sangat

Ada lagi sebulan jer lagi ni...his birthday is on the 6th .. well dari haritu dok fikir nak bagi apa eh kat pakcik ni..jam done...kasut done...baju banyak kali done...perfume pun done...so this time tengah fikir samaada nak belikan wallet or holidays ke but if holidays he needs to go with me..hahahaha...ntahlah undecided lagi ni..

But arrangement hotel dah buat...cake pun dah...deco pun dah..yeayyyy cant wait ..

Awal awal dah mintak permission to celebrate that day with him..really cant wait woooo..

Memula macam mood rajin datang jer nak bake cakes lah bagai...hahahaha...tapi memang mood malas asyik ke laut jerlah..

See you sayang on 5th ni...mi amor

Monday, March 13, 2017

September all alone Jakarta Trip

Semalam bangun pagi dengan gigih semata mata nak tengok harga flight tiket Air Asia yang tengah acah acah promo..Dari teracah acah terus terbeli..oh demmmm..

Yes 28th till 1st Oct bought ticket to Jakarta..its time for a own holiday.Ok yer ni bukan kerja...ni bebetul jalan jalan and teroka sendiri negara orang. Nak jalan jejauh acik belum lah mampu mana kan..so kita jalan dekat dekat jer.

Last year went to Krabi sendiri and this year ke Jakarta pula lah kite..

I sebenarnya looking forward to have a holiday dengan my Mr Tall Dark and not so handsome man...tapi i know dia punya situation so alonelah kita..errr alone ke? hahahahaha..well a fren of mine akan accompany me. Tq kawan..

So just to let him know i wrote it via my whatsapp status.So at least dia tau lah kan...sweet kan cara communicate macam ni..hahahahaha...so sekarang kena update lah cara gitu..

Anyway i just cant wait for that trip..

Jakarta Aku Datang!!! errr lama lagi eh

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Happy bornday to me

Yes splendid spending my birthday at home uli donut banyak banyak hahahaha and yes the whole day its raining...good day insyallah...mana tau rezeki makin lebat...insyallah.

Well the best was for the first time ever i have the chance of video call with HIM...tq sayang.Its been 3 times celebrating it with you kan...and he had his hair cut...nice!! love it love it...well a man if they had their hair cut rasa macam 1st day fall in love..cia cia cia...hahahahaha..

Am happy yes indeed i am. More positive in me. All i wish for is untuk hati ini jadi lebih tenang...my life to be more positive...and to be with my loves ones..

And to all thank you so much for the wishes yer..love you all to the max..

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Syurga Yang Tak Dirindukan...

Have u all watch the movie? The 1st movie dah tengok but the 2nd am waiting for the right time to watch. Gonna watch it on my birthday perhaps.

Yupe i did cried watching the 1st movie sebabnya...the flashback banyak sangat. Hati perempuan mana yang tak tersentuh kan dan hati perempuan mana yang tak sakit. Atas alasan apapun tetap ada hati yang sakit. Soal keikhlasan bukan perkara utama sebabnya ikhlas tak pernah wujud...

And now am women in the middle.. been hurt and might hurt a womens feeling. Tegar ke? Its been ups and down relation..love hate and love again..and yes hate again...

Saya pernah ada syurga itu..syurga yang saya sangat rindukan...tapi saya gagal tahankan syurga saya..and i know i will never breaks someones heart...

apapun i enjoy watching this movie walaupun nangis berejam tak boleh move on..hahahahha

Friday, February 10, 2017

Memoir











Been here and there...Alhamdulillah syukur...to many more years and places to go...